I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
