I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
