Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
