I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
