I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
