the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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