Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
