all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you told grandpa to call you daddy
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The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
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i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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