I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
