yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize