Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize