Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
