like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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