he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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