whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
