The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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