I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
