I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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