you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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