break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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