hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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