Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
