if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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