I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
