I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
