will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
