my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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