Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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