i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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