look no pants
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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