just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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