...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
