Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
