so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
