did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
