I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
