Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
