even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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