Please don't use social media to get back at me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
