Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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