And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
