I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
