The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
