I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
