this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
