I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
