We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
