The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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