obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
