she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
