hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
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You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
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I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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