While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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