but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
