Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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