nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize