she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
