I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
