Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
