instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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