Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
