So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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