the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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